Dogs protect citizen from Hoodie attacker

Brave Castlebar superhero Michael Kilcoyne (aka Fluoride Man) has called for a by-law to ban hoodies.

Deeming the hoodie an accessory to crime he has proposed that they be banned to protect the good citizens of Gotham Castlebar from roaming gangs of youth and no doubt a shower from Dublin.

Michael Kilcoyne (Fluoride Man)

Holy Donuts Fluoride Man!

The councillor said that two hooded people stole a bread van recently in town and because they were wearing hoodies it is proving hard to identify them on CCTV.

“Hoodies are clearly causing a problem.”

Castlebar’s Chief Wiggum, Inspector Joe McKenna, agreed that hoodies make identifying hoodlums more difficult but unhelpfully added

“listen, I have three or four hoodies myself, and if you start on hoodies the same could be said about hats and scarves.”

Michael rarely hits the headlines, being one of those quieter superheros who sticks to fixing roads and the like. With his utility belt & massive scissors he can cut ribbons, while his mayoral chain is rumoured to be bullet-proof.

He shot to fame (he didn’t) in 2001 when he beamed his toothbrush signal into the Mayo skies and demanded

“It’s a question of choice, If you buy a glass of beer , the chances are that it contains fluoride. The consumer should have the choice on whether or not to have water that contains fluoride.”

A year later Fluoride Man joined Micheál Martin’s Irish Expert Body on Fluorides and Health, which delivered a report in 2006 (and seems to be still going with a board as long as your arm) which stated

“Even though fluoride is in piped water, there is still an element of choice. People can choose not to drink tap water”

And with those pearl drops of wisdom we’ll sign off until next crap time on the same crap channel.