Pop Quiz: George Bush Or ISIS?

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AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite

Pop Quiz: ISIS or George W. Bush?

Note that we’ve used the Arabic word for God, ‘Allah’, which has been scientifically proven to make references to a supreme deity 89% more scary to non-Arab Westerners:

 

  1. “This confrontation is willed by Allah who wants to use this conflict to erase his people‚Äôs enemies before a new age begins.”
  2. “We must collectively get after those who kill in the name of false religion.”
  3. “Allah speaks through us.”
  4. “Allah has been holding his peace, waiting for the right leader and the right nation and the right moment to act for Him and cleanse history of evil.”
  5. “We are driven with a mission from Allah. He tells us to go and fight the enemy in Afghanistan, so this we do. He tells us end the tyranny in Iraq, so this we do.”
  6. “We are defending the nobility of lives lived in obedience to Allah and conscience, not to governments.”
  7. “Steadfast in our purpose, we now press on. We have known the price. We have shown our power. And in this great conflict we will see our victory. May Allah bless us.”

 

 


 

 

ANSWERS:

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They’re all George W Bush

(slightly edited to remove personal pronouns, references to ‘freedom’ and the US)

H/t to Citizen Partridge.

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