Jackie, Danny & Michael Healy-Rae

Don’t Blow into the Bag

In Blog, Humour, Politicsby Fedayn8 Comments

Jackie, Danny & Michael Healy-Rae

Jackie, Danny & Michael Healy-Rae

While Danny Healy-Rae was getting Ireland the kind of headlines we haven’t seen since Cowen’s departure, we thought we’d check the stats to see how many deaths weren’t quite enough for our mumbling asshat councillor-come-publican.

Thanks to the people at the Road Safety Authority for the following statistics on Road Deaths in Kerry. 2004-2006 saw an average of 15 road deaths per year, 2008 saw a high of 19 deaths but by 2012 the steady reduction saw the number killed on Kerry’s roads drop to 5. Other accident figures mirror these statistics. Single-occupancy car accidents, which very often indicate drink-driving are down considerably nationwide and in Kerry. The overall reduction in road deaths (in Kerry car deaths down from 10 to 2, pedestrian deaths down 4 to 2) is at least partly due to the concerted and continuous efforts by legislators and enforcers to cut out driving under the influence.

Danny Healy-Rae is a real piece of work, like the rest of his family. His most recent notoriety in the press before this ludicrous request for death on the roads was a court appearance for serving alcohol at 2:40am. The story includes a Garda report of loud shushing coming from inside his pub and figures being seen escaping through a back door into the adjoining house. Of course he ‘wasn’t at the premises’ at the time and they weren’t really customers anyway of course.

Danny’s brother, Michael (the good-looking one) has hit the headlines over the years. His main claim to fame being that he won the Celebrities Go Wild reality show on RTÉ. Unfortunately it emerged that ‘someone’ in the Dáil had redialled the premium charge vote line for 31 hours and racked up a bill to the taxpayer of €2,600 in order for this little victory to happen. Danny also managed to miss 2/3rds of all votes taken in the Dáil in his first term despite having been signed in for expenses on the days of each vote. Prick this fella. Oh, he’s also brought up ‘The Hum’ in the Dáil, because he can hear it.

Then we come to big daddy. Jackie Healy Rae. The man that makes Podge and Rodge look like Stephen Fry. He married a yank and begot the two potatoes in caps but he’s got more to him than that. Yes his daughter, the shmart wan, is a barrister no less. Rosemary has been very lucky. She was appointed to the Criminal Injuries Compensation Tribunal (can we hear a cha-ching?) and shortly before her Da agreed to prop up that last stinking Fianna Fáil government’s budget in 2010 she was reappointed for another 3 years. She gets paid €272 for each meeting she attends and up to €361 for each case on which she gives her legal expertise. Fair play.

Jackie is full of wisdom. For instance having received the chair position for the Oireachtas committee on social welfare he saw the wisdom in appearing for fewer than half the meetings and got up and left a further 25%, meanwhile he didn’t forget to pocket the €20,000 for chairing it. He supported two Fianna Fáil coalition govts. (97-2002 & the last treacherous regime) and received some undocumented benefits ‘for the constituency’ in kind for his fealty. Talk of new roads and sports grants and of course board positions etc. While holding the balance of power as an ‘independent Fianna Fáil’ TD he ensured that Fianna Fail were able to wreck the country and send us down the road to austerity for generations.

Here’s Jackie elucidating on the successes and failures of the Gramscian Lula in Brazil as opposed to the Leninist dictatorship of the proletariat of Castro’s Cuba…sorry he’s just asking that we can have two or three pints before getting behind the wheel.



  1. “Jackie Healy Rae. The man that makes Podge and Rodge look like Stephen Fry” I like that

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