A few highlights from the election campaigns so far. What moments will stick in your memory? Also download I Am Destroyer’s epic centre spread from rabble #8 and keep the shnakes at bay.
1. Hard to Trump This One.
Michael Noonan, minister for scaldy heads, prostrated himself in a puddle at Shannon Airport for the comfort of Donald Bigot Birther Trump. Trump arrived to have his arse licked by Ireland’s political and media elite having purchased €100m worth of golf club grounds from NAMA for €15m. Blathering about thinking about maybe building a ballroom at some time in the distant future ‘there are lots of jobs in ballrooms’ (we’re serious) he told the awestruck ‘journalists’ that he’d expect to invest €45m in the facility.
None of them brought up his appalling record in Scotland where he went to war with the local community, his appalling record in the US where his casino has gone bankrupt four times, his diatribe obsession with Obama (definitely not racist of course) and his birth certificate, or the fact that the only job being created in Doonbeg is the one advertised on JobBridge.
2. Keeping it under wraps.
A HSE employee contacted Luke Ming Flanagan to relate that an internal email has warned senior staff not to reveal the upcoming closure of Maternity Services at Ballinasloe Portiuncula Hospital until AFTER the elections.
3. Politics? Sure that’s not work.
Karl Gill, a young Council candidate in Dun Laoghaire was interrogated by a welfare officer when signing on at the local social welfare office. He was “called into a meeting so that they could question my political views in relation to Jobbridge, unemployment and social welfare. She also said that I would be “activated” [forced onto JobBridge] if I am not elected. Disgraceful politicking and bullying tactics.”
4. No go zones.
Politicians have been forbidden from canvassing for votes in Ireland’s asylum centres – even though thousands of residents are allowed to vote in the upcoming local elections. “They were polite but there was definitely no equivocation,” Donnchadh Ó Laoghaire of Sinn Féin told TheJournal.ie. “I said I didn’t think that was very fair, that these people are entitled to vote and they should have the opportunity to meet their candidates, but they [the management of the centre] said no politician is allowed in to canvas”. At least 152 people at the Kinsale Road centre in Cork are on the electoral register.
5. Making a meal of it.
According to Joe Murphy in Inisowen, ‘a leading FG activist from Carndonagh, who hosts the FG branch meetings in his pub, was photographed taking down the posters of PBPA candidate Joe Murphy. “That same FG activist later that same day tried to offer me a bribe to keep the story out of the media. He offered to make a donation to my campaign. I refused. He then asked if he could make a donation to my son, I refused that as well. He then offered to pay for us to have dinner in his pub”.
6. Locals only please.
In Galway, a woman confronted Enda Kenny over the tax on water as he canvassed the streets: “You’re wasting 42% of water and now you’re putting money into water meters instead of fixing the leaks”,”You’re not from Galway at all are ya?” smirks Enda Kenny at the local woman whose English accent differentiated her from the mooing Fine Gael cattle milling about him.
While Adam Labazanov, originally from Chechnya, was being stabbed 57 times with a screwdriver by a crazed gang for being different, Fine Gael council candidates have disseminated leaflets boasting about blocking social housing and traveller accommodation in their areas of South Dublin.
8. Even when it was the bears I knew it was the Joos.
A FF canvasser for councillor John Lahart has been dismissed after an incident on the campaign trail was reported by a woman he’d approached. Upon being informed that the young woman would not be voting Fianna Fáil he replied “You’re hardly voting FG? The problem is that Alan Shatter is a Jew and as a Jew he looks down on the rest if us Gentiles….. Oh Maybe you’re a jewess?”
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