Connolly Cafe Prices Rise To Match Recovery.

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The Labour Party’s popular Connolly Café has raised prices as they’ve been forced to let JobBridge staff go for ‘better optics’ ahead of their disastrous 2016 General Election campaign.

The Café replaced an unprofitable socialist community centre that was demolished to make way for an affordable housing development in a joint public-private-partnership project between Marian Finucane and Bernard McNamara. Unfortunately, the EqualityTowers© venture met a dead end with the collapse of Lehman Brothers and there was no alternative.

Younger patrons of the café voiced their worries that the JobBridge Panini (€3.85) might be replaced by a MinimumWage Muffin (€9.15) and they could be forced to eat across the road at the Blueshirt Bistro.

Your reporter visited the café last night hoping to nab a manager for comment but, while the lights were on, there was nobody home.

/satire

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